For Losers


When Your Car Doesn’t Want to Drive

Posted in Psychotic Driver by forlosers on June 1, 2008
Tags: , , , ,

The other day, I’m sitting in a Starbucks, just minding my own business, drinking my coffee and doing some work. Behind me are two men shuffling papers on the table, so I figure they are working on some business structure.

I look over to the door as two girls walk in, both young, blonde and out of breath. They start apologizing to these two for being late, or at least one of them does. The guys say okay and have them sit down. The conversation went something like this.

“Could you explain to us why this happened?”

“Yea. Okay. Oh my god. I was so drunk. And I was driving on the highway. And, you know, I feel bad, because this is my third DUI. I just keep getting caught. But, I’m going to do my community service, I swear.”

“Okay. So, could you explain what happened to your car?”

“Oh, yeah. Right. So, I’m driving and one of the tires goes flat. But I didn’t notice it went flat because I was sooooo drunk. So, I just keep driving. And, because that tire was flat for so long down the highway, it caused the second tire to go flat. And, it made me swerve off the road. I seriously could not tell that the tires were flat. When I swerved off I went, oh my God. What is happening? I didn’t understand why my car would do that.

“So, because I was stuck on the side of the highway and was drunk, the cops pulled over and gave me a ticket.”

According to the court order, her actual time to do service was a good month or two with a suspension in her license. But, she also explained that she was really going to try to move her suspension up because it was hard to get to work.

After she left, I hear one last comment. “You know, I would feel sorry for her, but she has about one brain cell in her head.”

So, with great pleasure, I initiate her into the Losersville blog, warning all of us that do have more than one brain cell to probably work towards staying off the road.

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